heart feelings..16/12/2008

I did not get any sleep last night..cause c.y ask me some thing..n i rejected it..i knw it is curel 2 him..tat is why when he does't feel like talking 2 me n mad at me..i did not blam him..cause i knw i reali make him veri unhapi..i reali like him..but..maybe this like in my heart is not enuf 4 me 2 love him now..maybe next time yes or still no..no one knws anyway..i reali wish tat he can forgive me..n understand me..or maybe i'm the one who does not understand him..but..say the truth i reali knw how he feel n i don knw how 2 explain it out..i reali can't stand tat my bestfren isn't talking me..n even he talk 2 me i got the feeling tat he is reluctant 2 talk 2 me..althought v do not talk 2 each other much..except after our gathering..no matter how I still care about my frenz..
Yesterday night i oso done some thing tat i oso don knw is it right or wrong..i ask y.q wheater do he still like me..n he give me de ans is...NOT REALI..i reali don knw wat reaction should i give him n I just reply him n said OK..i said 2 myself if the ans is yes..thn i will wait n if the ans is no..n i will give up..in my heart i reali wish tat he reply me yes..but..it end up the ans is no..so..i think it is time for me 2 let it go..and I hope i can do it as fast as possible..cause i feel tat i'm a stupid idead..still thinking tat in the future v will still be togethere..still beliveing wat he told me..it isn't real at all n it won't b real..i'm the stupidest idead in this planet..but..from now on..NO WAY..i'm going 2 do tat idead again!!!i'm goin 2 forget every thing about him!!n start my life the way tat i always wanted..